Dear Editor,
Allow me some space to air my views concerning the ever increasing and mushrooming levels of marital problems including divorce in our country. The rate of divorce seems to be on the increase in our generation at an alarming rate. Divorce has become part of our culture, values and norms. Divorce like death was not so common in the olden days. When it happened communities were shaken. Many questions were asked.
Why? What? How? Is it true? Who? Where? All these were questions that showed how startled people took the news. It clearly indicated that it was not a usual thing. Our parents and dear grandparents surely had their own huddles in their marriages, but the institution of marriage was respected. Indeed we cannot dispute that divorce existed then, but not as it appears and comes today.
The colors and its shape have taken worrying twist. Events that lead to divorce sometimes do not even warrant such actions. It is like somebody who has a temporal problem and decides to take his or life. Truly solutions should be sought in totality before one takes such a drastic solution. Divorce can be likened to suicide in many ways. Though trying to compare these two is like pouring a hot cup of water in the river and expect the waters to get hot.
Just like in business, people should expect changes in the market, expect competition, expect economic changes and above all realize that the world can be affected by weather, and other natural disasters. But a good manager will be seen as these changes unfold. Solutions that address the changes would be sought. Solutions that mitigate the effects would be explored.
Focusing on the future and well being of the business would be motivation factor not the present or prevailing adverse effects. Intuitive, innovativeness, rational thinking and simulation are avenues that focused managers would explore in seeking answers to different situations. What makes a difference in business is how managers behave when situations change and how they react to the unforeseen or unplanned situations. Being practical, reactive and proactive determines how firm one remains.
Back to my title “Marriages and Kitchen Parties in Zambia”, the above discussion offers insights on how certain issues could be addressed in marriage set up, just like in business. But what is the relationship between marriage and kitchen parties? What is introduced in a marriage? What are the cost implications and economic values that come with a kitchen part into a marriage?
What values, culture, norms are introduced to newlywed couples? Do the items got during a kitchen part add value to the union or not? Who owns what is amassed from the kitchen part? Should it still remain to be called a kitchen party or a chicken party or may be another name should be sought? What is the main importance of a kitchen part? Do people give genuinely at kitchen parties? In my articles to come, many more and such questions would be discussed.
Merits and demerits would be objectively looked at, analyzed and other issues propounded. Being the first article in the series, I will ask a simple question. Which spoon is better to use, the one given at a kitchen party or the one both partners decide to buy willingly as a couple? Let me get your comments as we embark on this journey to seek solutions to humanity problems and instability in our homes and seek solutions for many generations to come.
MKS