Beatrice Simuusa says sex should never be used as a weapon in marriage.
And Beatrice, the wife of agriculture minister Wylbur Simuusa, has advised women not to neglect their physical appearance after getting married.
In an interview during their 23rd wedding anniversary celebrations on Sunday, Beatrice said the tendency by women to use sex as a weapon must end.
She said some wives use sex as a tool of manipulation in marriage but said that was not right.
“Women use sex as a manipulating tool either to get things or to punish their men but that is not right. Sex is needful in marriage and that is why marriages can break on the basis of not having sex,” Beatrice said.
She said if women denied their husbands their conjugal rights, such men would end up looking for other women.
“My husband owns me and I own him, even the Bible says so. If you are having problems, that is your husband, talk to him and try sort it out and improve the situation. Do not just decide to deny him his conjugal rights. Sex is important in marriage, just as love and trust are important in marriage,” she said.
Beatrice said her marriage was not perfect but she had tried to build it based on love and trust.
“Wylbur is my best friend and that is why they say courtship is very important in any marriage and I mean not sex but getting to know one another,” she said.
And Beatrice said women should learn to maintain their physical appearance in marriage.
She said after getting married, some women tend to neglect their appearances and that forces some men to start admiring other women.
“After marriage, most women stop taking care of themselves.They neglect their outlook which they forget is one of the first things that attracted their spouses. Your physical appearance is very important as a lady as that keeps your man’s eyes fixated on you,” Beatrice said.
She said she had taken it upon herself to always ensure that before her husband leaves for work, she was looking ‘stunning’.
“When Wylbur is leaving, I ensure I dress and look gorgeous. Sometimes he even asks me ‘mummy, where are you going?’ And I say ‘nowhere’. And he always smiles. This way I know even when he is at the office and he has all those young secretaries, I am still on his mind, or even when he meets pretty journalists like you, he can still think of his beautiful wife,” she said, before bursting into laughter.
Beatrice said it was a woman’s job to look good for her husband and not for other people.
“Women need to look good and dress for their men, not because they are going out. After all, it’s him you want to keep attracted to you. When you look beautiful and keep up your appearance, you are going into his mind,” she said.
Beatrice said women often force men to have ‘stray eyes’ because they do not want to maintain themselves.
“We push these men into the arms of others; before he leaves home you are in your oversized pyjamas, not even those pretty little nighties and when he knocks off, you are still in the same p-jays or some chitenge wrapper. Come on; he is with business ladies in suits, lashes flattering at him and you want to be dirty? You have to keep these people. Yes you have his heart but don’t push him away,” she said.
And asked to describe her husband in three words, Beatrice said Simuusa was “loving, committed, consistent”, and added “good hearted”, which she said many would agree with.
The Simuusas celebrated their anniversary under a romantic candle-lit dinner at Pamodzi Hotel.
At some point, Simuusa surprised everyone when he took to the stage, picked up a guitar and sang a melodious rendition of Don Williams’ You are my best friend for his beaming wife.